DG

One twenty nine of eleven, twenty three thirty. Almost midnight.


It was already nine o’clock in the evening when we ate our dinner. I got hooked with “Kingdom Connection” design and almost forgot to eat. Dennis was just waiting for me while his eyes were fixed on Erika. Oh, what? Who’s that girl? Don’t be silly. She’s just a kid with a problem in the liver. Good thing she’s already safe, thanks to her tito Jeff who donated a part of his liver. By the way, they are the ones being interviewed by Jessica Soho in GMA 7 show, Kapuso mo Jessica Soho. Today is Saturday, sorry I forgot to mention.

I finished the design after almost three hours of “titigan game” with my PC and “pindutan stuff” with her pet mouse. I even needed my right point finger to be massaged after that.

Anyway, it will be better maybe if I’ll start from the beginning. It feels like I’m telling a story in a backhand stroke.

I woke up around five thirty in the morning but I got up around eight. Why? It’s Saturday, remember? So there, first thing first of course. I’ve gone into the comfort room and did my morning stuff. Then I went back to my room and got my morning bestfriends – journal, pen and His love letter. How sweet, isn’t it?
I was done with it around nine. Then I prepared my coffee.. oh, did I eat something? I can’t remember. Haha!

I looked on the wall, I had to see if there’s lizard.. and gotcha! I saw the clock. I remember my friend ABS-CBN will let me watch Toy Story II by ten in the morning. But then I remembered my morning whisper, “Please help me spend this day right.” So, what do you expect? Of course I continued watching. Haha, just kidding.

I opened Dennis’ room, looked for his basket and there you go.. it’s full. I checked mine and though it’s quite half-full, I know I still have to wrestle with them.. and even with Dennis'. I'm such a loving sister, don't you think? Haha. And so I let my robot “washing machine” drink his weekly vitamins.. and ooops, he almost threw it. Then I fed him with so many clothes. I knew he would love it.

Around one thirty in the afternoon, I was still fascinated with KC [ Kingdom Connection ]. I didn’t know how to start. Good thing I’ve drawn a sketch, nice one for a scratch.

It was four o’clock when my robot finished it all. Then afterwards, I had to clean the whole house all by myself. This time I have no robot. Sad :(

Five o’clock tic-tac-toe. I sat down for a while, then moved into the bath room and took a nap there. No, it’s just a joke. I took a bath of course. Six o’clock, Dennis came home with lots of chocolates. He doesn’t really love me, does he? it’s not that I hate chocolates. I just don’t eat much. Oftentimes, one bite is enough. This time I’m not joking so please believe me. But oh, I love kitkat.. you know, “just have a break.”

And so six o’clock onwards you already know what happened.

Now it’s midnight. When my clock ticked ten, I knew I had to sleep. But I can’t. So I’ve decided to check my facebook. I did a random visit to some of my friends’ account. And then “SIGH-yang” came across. You know it? Yeah, it’s a note from a pastor friend, Ptr.Calvin Cuevas [name is linked]. The title’s cute, huh? But man, the content was so profound. You’ve got to read it yourself. It was so simple yet it’s indeed a BIG REMINDER.

Remember my morning whisper? “Help me spend this day right.” Sigh. This day had passed. Tomorrow, this day will just be a yesterday that can never be lived on again.

Question: Have I spent it right?

In life, whatever is done can never be undone.


The note says,

“May mga bagay pala talagang pagsisisihan tayo.. at kahit anung gusto nating ibalik ang oras para itama ang mali....sadly, HINDI NA PWEDE.”

 “Never waste TIME”.

“Seize the day”.

“Grab great opportunities.”

“Be open for change.”

“Umiwas sa regrets.

“We are TIME STEWARDS”.




I don’t want to waste my time. Tomorrow I might die. Every moment I’ll wake up is also another chance to die. THAT’S LIFE. I might go out of this house alive and come back, dead. I’LL NEVER KNOW.

Just like Ananias and Sapphira, death can be very very sudden. WORSE, it will come in the moment you’re doing nothing. And WORST, it will come in the moment you’re sinning.

Just a copy-paste from His love letter. [and it was also copy-pasted in the note]
“So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” –Psalm 90:12, ESV




Question: Have you spent this day right? And if you are yet to begin it, will you choose to spend it God’s way? Come on, YOU’LL NEVER KNOW. Later, death may just come beside you. Morbid as it is, but a REALITY, as it is.




HAVE A PURPOSEFUL DAY, FELLA!




DG

He is simply amazing. No words can ever define Him. And this year, He just had a new wonderful way to surprise me. Oh well, what would I expect? He’s amazing!


It’s still so fresh how I met Him, how He crossed my path.. how He made me fall for Him. It was a loooooong process. The courtship stage was really challenging. Everything I could do to avoid Him, I did. Anything I could say to offend Him, I uttered. No one could ever convince me to pay attention. He’s not worth it anyway, I thought.

All my life, I was commanded to live as if He was my bestfriend. They pushed me to live as if I have to please Him everyday. You know why? Oh well, same here.. I didn’t know. Uhm, maybe because they are perfect? They know everything? Well, I guess so. They taught me to befriend Him because, as they said, He could be the BEST friend I could ever have. Sounds like a gold digger, huh? And they also taught me to respect Him simply because it was told so. Is it enough?? Gee, where’s freedom? They taught me to read His love letter everyday because I should follow His instructions there. What the?! What the hell is that love letter that contains instructions and commandments? Are you kidding me?

But well, believe it or not, I DID. I gave Him a chance. We had our dates every Wednesdays and Sundays. And then, the whole month of October is always spent with His mom. You know, having some time to know the family. I  also  started reading His love letter.. but well, I couldn’t do it everyday.. it bored me to death.  But gee, I write Him back a letter at times..  You know why? Because they also taught me to do so.
Everyday of my life was spent with that thought that He’s always beside me; that He will never leave me nor forsake me. But I could not understand. The last time I checked, I’m sane. But after that habit and senseless dates with Him, I thought I’ve gone irrational. They told me my life will be better with Him. But why can't I feel it? And I think something's really wrong. They taught me all those stuff.. but the "better life" they were talking about was never seen in their lives. How could I ever believe them? And tell me, who would ever fall for Someone you will never see?! Is this some kind of silly games? And oh, don’t laugh at me.. nothing’s funny. I'm deadly serious here, bud.

All those years, I HAVE WASTED. All those years, I let myself be deceived by people around me. I let them dictate how my life will move, where it would go and with whom I should journey. And the craziest part is, I BELIEVED I was in the RIGHT PATH.
They have taught me ALMOST everything. And I believe they just did it FOR MY OWN GOOD. But I guess, they have forgotten something...

They forgot to teach me how to LOVE.. how to feel it myself.. how to do it myself.. how to explore it myself.


They just taught me.. in mind.

They taught me to be good, to be respectful, to be obedient, to be courteous.. and even to be faithful. But how would I ever learn that if I don’t know how to love? They taught me to be faithful to Him, to pay attention to His voice, to see what He sees and to serve Him with all my heart. But HOW? How could I ever do that if I DON’T LOVE HIM

And then the unforgettable moment came. A new tribe crossed my path. Haha! Don't get me wrong my friend, they are just a set of people who was so foreign to me. You know why? They told me the same thing. But this time, i saw the reality in their lives. And the crazier part? They LOVE it. And I wonder why. But sooner, i discovered..




When everyone has gone, when everyone left me alone.. NO ONE to teach me.. NO ONE to whisper what’s right and what’s wrong.. NO ONE to say where to go and whom to follow. Then.. and only then.. I heard His beautiful voice. He was there, ALL those times I was being harassed by people, He was there beside me. ALL those times they whispered hurtful words to “correct” me, He was there to comfort me. ALL those times I believed I have given Him the chance, He was being pushed aside and trodden by people who wanted to “teach” me. HE WAS THERE. Bruised. Beaten. Trampled. And you know what hurts the most? I NEVER SAW HIM. I NEVER HEARD HIM. He was shouting, but I ignored Him. He was fighting for me, but I left Him.

Friendly? Respectful? Faithful? What would I do with them if I don’t have LOVE? They taught me all those things. But only HE who taught me what LOVE is.. what REAL LOVE is. "PATIENT" is not enough to describe it. "SACRIFICIAL" can't justify what He had done. Only TRUE LOVE can define it.


And now, what more can I ask for? He’s everything to me. And this year, it’s time to give whatever He asks from me. I’ve taken too much. It’s time to give everything I could give. No turning back. He’s my life. He’s my everything. He deserves my ALL.




I will never know what lies ahead of me in the future. I will never predict His plan. I will never comprehend His compassion. I will never outweigh His love. NEVER. 
But I know there’s one thing I can do..


LOVE.


 

God is my everything.
God is my forever.
God is my ALL.





DG

STOP. “Do you follow Me?”

Honestly, I don’t know.

As 2010 started, I only asked for one thing – DEPTH. January came and I really felt so excited. I know my God has prepared something special for me.



LOOK. “Do you see yourself now?”

Oh well, I don’t want to.

Months passed me. Excitement gone thru me. Struggles almost killed me. Yeah, I don’t want to see myself anymore. I can’t face myself and look inside me. I CAN’T.



LISTEN. “Do you hear Me?”

Oh God, I desperately want to.

It’s December. It rang the bell of END. I looked back.. and I smiled. I know He will never fail me. I will fail Him many many times.. but I know He will never do that to me. I asked for something special and He gave me so much more.

Do I hear Him?

I desperately want to. As I look to this year, I laugh at myself as I remember every smile and teardrop I’ve given. I was so excited, then came struggles and I went low. But my God isn’t thru me, He won’t stop surprising me. As He has given me new challenges to take, He has given me new friends and mentors to journey with.

I know I’m on the right track my Lord. I just want to HEAR Your voice and OBEY everything You say.


THANK YOU for another wonderful year of journeying with You.


I LOVE YOU.