Showing posts with label Me and God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Me and God. Show all posts
The Battle Continues
DG


There was a voice shouting: “Turn back! You can’t do it anymore!”
I looked around and see no one. I listened again.. and it echoes to my soul..

                     “Turn back…”

                     “You can’t do it anymore..”


And it continues…

I covered my ears. I closed my eyes. I quiet my heart.
Had I heard it before, I should have shouted back. But it’s different now. I know shouting back won’t help. I just have to silent my heart and listen to a smaller voice.

“Get up my child. You can do it.. 

I know you can..”


No one ever said that my life will be easy. No one ever said that everything will go on smoothly. In fact, many have warned me. Many have said this path will be full of pains. But I also know that taking this path will bring eternal joy to my soul. I know for a fact that this is where I really should be.



Who said I’m quitting?

Of course not!

I’m just preparing for the next battle. I know this one’s harder and bigger.



And now, I AM READY.



Bring it on Lord!



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Me and God
DG

This is the right way. I know.
Never go there. I won’t.
Stay beside me. I will.

Stop searching. I’m not.
Stop pretending. I’m not.
Stop lying.

Huh? Me? Oh, You’re barking at the wrong tree God.









God?



Hey! You left me again!



What now God? Where are You?



(whisper) God, still there? I’m afraid..



Okay I give up. You’re right.
But is it wrong? Is it a sin to pretend? I’m just protecting myself.



I can protect you.
From me? From my very own self? From my very own deceiving emotions?
Yes. Only if you will allow me.
I do allow You. It’s just.. I can’t control it. I can’t control my heart.
Because you didn’t surrender it.
I did!
WHOLLY?
Uhm, yeah.. I think so..
No. You didn’t. You don’t trust me.
I do!
WHOLLY?
Of course!
Then why do you panic?
What? Me? Of course not!
Are you sure? You can take it back. I mean your answer. Do you need life line?
Oh God, are you joking around?
I’m not. You are. You call me God but still you lie to me. I am God. I know everything, even the deepest part of your heart, I know it.
Yes, I know that.
So?
That’s why I surrender to You everything.
Okay. So now don’t panic.
I’m not.. Uh.. Uhm.. I mean, maybe a li’l bit.
 
You’re joking around.
(Sigh) Okay. Maybe I really am. And I don’t want it. You will help me, right?
Of course. I’m just here, as always.
Thank you God.



I love you, my child.
I love you, too.


I love you more.

(whisper) I know…


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Who's Stealing the GLORY?
DG
                I was running.
                I looked back, He’s running after me.

Why? Does He need something from me?
Have I taken something from Him?

I tried to stop, but my feet kept on running. I looked at my feet, I noticed my shoes. Oh friend it’s so nice, it looks pretty much like the one I wanted to buy a week ago. It looks good with my feet. Oooh, maybe that’s the reason why I can’t stop.  
I FEEL GOOD.

I continued running. I’m tired but I couldn’t stop. I saw crossroads, I’ve read the signs. One way says, “HIS Way – dead end after one block”. The other says, “RIGHT Way – life goes on and on and on..”

While running I had to choose. I wanted to stop so I’ve decided to take “HIS Way”. But the very moment I reached the corner, my feet turned to the “RIGHT Way”. WHY? I got more confused. But I couldn’t do anything. I continued running.

Then I passed by a mirror. I saw my reflection. Cool, I haven’t noticed I was wearing a very nice pair of jacket and tight denims. Now I know why I didn’t choose HIS Way. I wanted to run more. I wanted to be seen more because I know.. 
I LOOK GOOD.

I continued running. I looked back again to see Him. He’s still running after me. He looked worried. I ran straight ahead. Then I saw a light. Suddenly my feet stopped. I held my breath. My heartbeat was so fast, I felt like I can’t breathe enough. I looked at the light, slowly it faded away. When it’s gone, I saw a big mirror. I saw my reflection once more. Then I saw Him too. I looked back to see Him personally.

There He was – sweaty, tired, and.. crying?

I looked at the mirror again. I looked at my reflection from head to toe. The jacket.. denims.. shoes.. They made me feel good, look good.

BUT, they weren’t MINE.


I felt His hand on my shoulder. Then, His embrace.


“My child, I will give everything you need. But these things don’t belong to you. See? You’re wearing a pair of shoes which can’t stop. It led you to the wrong way. You didn’t choose “HIS Way” which was MY Way.. you didn’t choose it because you wanted MORE.. MORE limelight, MORE applause.. MORE praises..

But did you notice? Because you chose the “RIGHT Way”, you just ended up so tired. It may be the right way, but it’s not the BEST. My way will always be the best for you, my child. Now, give them back to me. Underneath is more beautiful. Believe Me, have FAITH in Me..”


Slowly, I looked at Him. And one by one, I put all of them off.. jacket, denims,shoes.. 

And TRUE enough, underneath is MORE BEAUTIFUL. A dress made just for me.  
JUST FOR ME.

I gave Him back what I used to wear.. what I used to love. THEY WEREN’T MINE.

ALL of those which gave me applause.. praises.. those which made me feel good.. look good..
They weren’t mine. I STOLE THEM.


Now, the true owner is running after me. Weird, He shouldn’t do it.

BUT, He did it for me.

For a ROBBER like me. 

For a SINNER like me.


I was chasing my FAME. But sadly, at the expense of His GLORY. 
Now, He’s chasing His.

I’ve given back what I’ve stolen. BUT, it was just a part of it.. a TINY part of His glory. A big part is still missing.


Who’s stealing the glory?




Check it out my friend.  You might be one of them.




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just so YOU know
DG

Just so You know I won’t give up..
Just so You know I won’t stop fighting..
Just so You know I won’t get lost..
Just so You know I won’t stop trying..

JUST SO YOU KNOW..
I WON’T..



BUT..

Just so You know I feel down..
Just so You know I feel low..
Just so You know I feel empty..
Just so You know I feel alone..
 
JUST SO YOU KNOW..
I FEEL..



BUT..

Just so You know I know You won’t fail me..
Just so You know I know You won’t let me down..
Just so You know I know You won’t stop loving me..
Just so You know I know You won’t leave me..



JUST SO YOU KNOW..

I KNOW..

YOU WON’T..




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"I love you", HE whispered.
DG

He is simply amazing. No words can ever define Him. And this year, He just had a new wonderful way to surprise me. Oh well, what would I expect? He’s amazing!


It’s still so fresh how I met Him, how He crossed my path.. how He made me fall for Him. It was a loooooong process. The courtship stage was really challenging. Everything I could do to avoid Him, I did. Anything I could say to offend Him, I uttered. No one could ever convince me to pay attention. He’s not worth it anyway, I thought.

All my life, I was commanded to live as if He was my bestfriend. They pushed me to live as if I have to please Him everyday. You know why? Oh well, same here.. I didn’t know. Uhm, maybe because they are perfect? They know everything? Well, I guess so. They taught me to befriend Him because, as they said, He could be the BEST friend I could ever have. Sounds like a gold digger, huh? And they also taught me to respect Him simply because it was told so. Is it enough?? Gee, where’s freedom? They taught me to read His love letter everyday because I should follow His instructions there. What the?! What the hell is that love letter that contains instructions and commandments? Are you kidding me?

But well, believe it or not, I DID. I gave Him a chance. We had our dates every Wednesdays and Sundays. And then, the whole month of October is always spent with His mom. You know, having some time to know the family. I  also  started reading His love letter.. but well, I couldn’t do it everyday.. it bored me to death.  But gee, I write Him back a letter at times..  You know why? Because they also taught me to do so.
Everyday of my life was spent with that thought that He’s always beside me; that He will never leave me nor forsake me. But I could not understand. The last time I checked, I’m sane. But after that habit and senseless dates with Him, I thought I’ve gone irrational. They told me my life will be better with Him. But why can't I feel it? And I think something's really wrong. They taught me all those stuff.. but the "better life" they were talking about was never seen in their lives. How could I ever believe them? And tell me, who would ever fall for Someone you will never see?! Is this some kind of silly games? And oh, don’t laugh at me.. nothing’s funny. I'm deadly serious here, bud.

All those years, I HAVE WASTED. All those years, I let myself be deceived by people around me. I let them dictate how my life will move, where it would go and with whom I should journey. And the craziest part is, I BELIEVED I was in the RIGHT PATH.
They have taught me ALMOST everything. And I believe they just did it FOR MY OWN GOOD. But I guess, they have forgotten something...

They forgot to teach me how to LOVE.. how to feel it myself.. how to do it myself.. how to explore it myself.


They just taught me.. in mind.

They taught me to be good, to be respectful, to be obedient, to be courteous.. and even to be faithful. But how would I ever learn that if I don’t know how to love? They taught me to be faithful to Him, to pay attention to His voice, to see what He sees and to serve Him with all my heart. But HOW? How could I ever do that if I DON’T LOVE HIM? 

And then the unforgettable moment came. A new tribe crossed my path. Haha! Don't get me wrong my friend, they are just a set of people who was so foreign to me. You know why? They told me the same thing. But this time, i saw the reality in their lives. And the crazier part? They LOVE it. And I wonder why. But sooner, i discovered..




When everyone has gone, when everyone left me alone.. NO ONE to teach me.. NO ONE to whisper what’s right and what’s wrong.. NO ONE to say where to go and whom to follow. Then.. and only then.. I heard His beautiful voice. He was there, ALL those times I was being harassed by people, He was there beside me. ALL those times they whispered hurtful words to “correct” me, He was there to comfort me. ALL those times I believed I have given Him the chance, He was being pushed aside and trodden by people who wanted to “teach” me. HE WAS THERE. Bruised. Beaten. Trampled. And you know what hurts the most? I NEVER SAW HIM. I NEVER HEARD HIM. He was shouting, but I ignored Him. He was fighting for me, but I left Him.

Friendly? Respectful? Faithful? What would I do with them if I don’t have LOVE? They taught me all those things. But only HE who taught me what LOVE is.. what REAL LOVE is. "PATIENT" is not enough to describe it. "SACRIFICIAL" can't justify what He had done. Only TRUE LOVE can define it.


And now, what more can I ask for? He’s everything to me. And this year, it’s time to give whatever He asks from me. I’ve taken too much. It’s time to give everything I could give. No turning back. He’s my life. He’s my everything. He deserves my ALL.




I will never know what lies ahead of me in the future. I will never predict His plan. I will never comprehend His compassion. I will never outweigh His love. NEVER. 
But I know there’s one thing I can do..


LOVE.


 

God is my everything.
God is my forever.
God is my ALL.





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