He is simply amazing. No words can ever define Him. And this year, He just had a new wonderful way to surprise me. Oh well, what would I expect? He’s amazing!
It’s still so fresh how I met Him, how He crossed my path.. how He made me fall for Him. It was a loooooong process. The courtship stage was really challenging. Everything I could do to avoid Him, I did. Anything I could say to offend Him, I uttered. No one could ever convince me to pay attention. He’s not worth it anyway, I thought.
All my life, I was commanded to live as if He was my bestfriend. They pushed me to live as if I have to please Him everyday. You know why? Oh well, same here.. I didn’t know. Uhm, maybe because they are perfect? They know everything? Well, I guess so. They taught me to befriend Him because, as they said, He could be the BEST friend I could ever have. Sounds like a gold digger, huh? And they also taught me to respect Him simply because it was told so. Is it enough?? Gee, where’s freedom? They taught me to read His love letter everyday because I should follow His instructions there. What the?! What the hell is that love letter that contains instructions and commandments? Are you kidding me?
But well, believe it or not, I DID. I gave Him a chance. We had our dates every Wednesdays and Sundays. And then, the whole month of October is always spent with His mom. You know, having some time to know the family. I also started reading His love letter.. but well, I couldn’t do it everyday.. it bored me to death. But gee, I write Him back a letter at times.. You know why? Because they also taught me to do so.
Everyday of my life was spent with that thought that He’s always beside me; that He will never leave me nor forsake me. But I could not understand. The last time I checked, I’m sane. But after that habit and senseless dates with Him, I thought I’ve gone irrational. They told me my life will be better with Him. But why can't I feel it? And I think something's really wrong. They taught me all those stuff.. but the "better life" they were talking about was never seen in their lives. How could I ever believe them? And tell me, who would ever fall for Someone you will never see?! Is this some kind of silly games? And oh, don’t laugh at me.. nothing’s funny. I'm deadly serious here, bud.
All those years, I HAVE WASTED. All those years, I let myself be deceived by people around me. I let them dictate how my life will move, where it would go and with whom I should journey. And the craziest part is, I BELIEVED I was in the RIGHT PATH.
They have taught me ALMOST everything. And I believe they just did it FOR MY OWN GOOD. But I guess, they have forgotten something...
They forgot to teach me how to LOVE.. how to feel it myself.. how to do it myself.. how to explore it myself.
They just taught me.. in mind.
They taught me to be good, to be respectful, to be obedient, to be courteous.. and even to be faithful. But how would I ever learn that if I don’t know how to love? They taught me to be faithful to Him, to pay attention to His voice, to see what He sees and to serve Him with all my heart. But HOW? How could I ever do that if I DON’T LOVE HIM?
And then the unforgettable moment came. A new tribe crossed my path. Haha! Don't get me wrong my friend, they are just a set of people who was so foreign to me. You know why? They told me the same thing. But this time, i saw the reality in their lives. And the crazier part? They LOVE it. And I wonder why. But sooner, i discovered..
When everyone has gone, when everyone left me alone.. NO ONE to teach me.. NO ONE to whisper what’s right and what’s wrong.. NO ONE to say where to go and whom to follow. Then.. and only then.. I heard His beautiful voice. He was there, ALL those times I was being harassed by people, He was there beside me. ALL those times they whispered hurtful words to “correct” me, He was there to comfort me. ALL those times I believed I have given Him the chance, He was being pushed aside and trodden by people who wanted to “teach” me. HE WAS THERE. Bruised. Beaten. Trampled. And you know what hurts the most? I NEVER SAW HIM. I NEVER HEARD HIM. He was shouting, but I ignored Him. He was fighting for me, but I left Him.
When everyone has gone, when everyone left me alone.. NO ONE to teach me.. NO ONE to whisper what’s right and what’s wrong.. NO ONE to say where to go and whom to follow. Then.. and only then.. I heard His beautiful voice. He was there, ALL those times I was being harassed by people, He was there beside me. ALL those times they whispered hurtful words to “correct” me, He was there to comfort me. ALL those times I believed I have given Him the chance, He was being pushed aside and trodden by people who wanted to “teach” me. HE WAS THERE. Bruised. Beaten. Trampled. And you know what hurts the most? I NEVER SAW HIM. I NEVER HEARD HIM. He was shouting, but I ignored Him. He was fighting for me, but I left Him.
Friendly? Respectful? Faithful? What would I do with them if I don’t have LOVE? They taught me all those things. But only HE who taught me what LOVE is.. what REAL LOVE is. "PATIENT" is not enough to describe it. "SACRIFICIAL" can't justify what He had done. Only TRUE LOVE can define it.
And now, what more can I ask for? He’s everything to me. And this year, it’s time to give whatever He asks from me. I’ve taken too much. It’s time to give everything I could give. No turning back. He’s my life. He’s my everything. He deserves my ALL.
I will never know what lies ahead of me in the future. I will never predict His plan. I will never comprehend His compassion. I will never outweigh His love. NEVER.
But I know there’s one thing I can do..
LOVE.
LOVE.
God is my everything.
God is my forever.
God is my ALL.
:)
you love smileys, noh?
thanks jo :)
not that much ate dg..hahha.
if my words are empty.. smileys are enough..haha. :D